i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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