its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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