Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
