you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
not ubering you a puppy
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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