you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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