we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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