People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
