Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
