i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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