i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
