It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
