...so i touched it.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
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Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
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I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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