Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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