if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize