I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
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