Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
