why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize