Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
