it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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