I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
