I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
