he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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