It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
