Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
