Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
