He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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