Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
