For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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