better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize
