His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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