It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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