I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
