STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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