my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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