Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Randomize
