Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
