Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
