Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Randomize
