We won't sleep together?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
