i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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