You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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