I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
