party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
