we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
