She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Gay?
German.
Pity.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
