i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
