You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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