Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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