Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
3 2 1 whiskey
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
