maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
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and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
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That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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