this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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