i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
