yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
