yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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