PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize