I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize