Taylor Swift is so right about you.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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