does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
