This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
