he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
