what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
