Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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