So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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