I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
