I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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