Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
