True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
