I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
